Life is a journey to be experienced -  people said. But, what I want to figure out is whether those experiences will make you happier instead of confuse? Confusing whether this place is actually your best place or not, whether this road is the road  you're gonna saying"alhamdulillah" instead of
"I should've choice" at the end. 

I've just watched my friend's video about enthusiasms, his dreams to be in another places, and his effort to at  least survive in his not-so-comfortable-place.  I know  how that feel. I AM in that situation. And I guess, this may the point where I a am too tired of having my legs stands. Stumble. Fall.

I was once wanted to be lawyer instead of doctor. I prefer speak to work in silence. I prefer dark coat to white. I have built my dreams and ambitions, I joined some competitions in order to get chance of being student in a university, and I GOT IT. It is actually really confusing when people ask how did I get into my current-medical-studies? because that is actually horrible things to remember when my Dad told me I have to be in medical studies instead of law studies, besides, I have accepted. I know it's hard not to be in your comfort zone, but deep down sometimes I feel so thankful for who I am now, where I am now.

well. that's not the point of this entry. he he.

last night. I got terrible "nightmare". well it was nightmare until I realise that it was not.

Have you ever felt in love to someone? LOL that's actually thing not to be questioned. everyone ever feel that way. but mine is somehow a little bit devastating. I can't lie that I "like" my friend, well I choose the word "like" because I think it's just too early to call this feeling 'love' or anything deeper than that. That's ((I can't lie either) such happiness to spend time with him, even without knowing how one's another feelings, and I'm okay with that. But what makes it suddenly hurting is when I know that he 'likes' my friend instead of me. POOR. POOR ME. well I don't even know how to describe in words, but things I want to write here is that I'm hurt :)

Second, I have really confusing times these days, like I don't know place where I belong to. I get time to think, to figure out what actually happens, but, still, I don't know what is going on.


I fall.




Stumble.





Alone.