I finally found my motivation(s). 

Not to be  underestimated.

Is it complex enough to explain? or simple enough to be the reason? I'm tired. Being looked like an unimportant. One day I tried to ask a girl for a clue to have something, what I got was that "look". Sometimes I  wonder why people recognize someone's existence by their importance of doing something? why don't they recognize someone really because their existence of human being? Then, I never find the answer.I don't know whether it's someone's right to choose with whom they want to talk, or is it more  important to have recognized by other? 

I don't ask for something difficult.

All I really want is being asked to talk or at least being recognize. I really know the feelings of being forgotten, not recognized, or being looked like an unimportant. And believe me, that's the most uncomfortable feeling. THE MOST. let me makes and illustration to describe the real conditions. Imagine, you're in classroom where all the students gather with their friends, buddies, or even cuddle with their boyf or girlf. and you? feeling so lonely even you're inside a classroom fulled by people. got it? 

Once I was treated like that,I never wanted to treat people that way. because I know how it really feels. BELIEVE ME IT HURTS. but once you were treated that way, you need to get up. SET UP. prove to "them" that you're an important. YOU CAN. YES, YOU CAN.

set up your goals. set up your timeline.